Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
