I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
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