Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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