This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize