whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
