He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
