that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I believe in your delicious
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
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