I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
