Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize