I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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