4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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