in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
