Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
