Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
