so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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