I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
