I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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