hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
