Kiss
Puke
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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