He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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