her vagine was all disorganized.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
