ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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