yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
