dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
