i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
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