The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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