STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
