you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize