Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
