It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
