i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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