imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
