with your own penis?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
