are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
