Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
