I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
foreskin is a definite game changer
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
