Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
