Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
