He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
