I should be sponsored by Trojan
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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