Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
