yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
