Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
