I look better un-naked...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
