dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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