oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
