She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
