...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
