My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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