we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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