Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
