i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Randomize
