You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
