Got a toothbrush?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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