My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Someone signed my nipple.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
