hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Randomize
