my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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