She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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