I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
