so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
