Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
