They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
