Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
