i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
