You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize