hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize