There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
