did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize