Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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