Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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