It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
