I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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