come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
