Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You were trust falling into bushes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
