I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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