You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I want to have your abortion
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
